“Girls Like it When”

Aside

Man, okay so there’s this #girlslikeitwhen tag going around on Twitter and holy crap I’m pretty sure some of those people posting in it haven’t ever really seen a girl. One tweet suggested that girls like it when “you wake them up with a good morning text.” Now listen, I don’t know about you guys but if ANYONE wakes me up with a good morning text – guy, girl, cat, whatever – I will throw the phone across the room, attempt (resentfully) to gain back whatever amount of sleep I lost because you had to be all “lol good mrng how r u” (if you use “u” in a text message to me I will honest-to-god headbutt you straight up in the kidney), and when I wake? No matter what I had planned that day, I will cancel it. I will spend the day planning my revenge. And then, just as you rest your greasy little head on your pillow to sleep, I will march to your crappy little craphole apartment, burst in through a wall like the Kool-Aid man and jump up and down on your bed, screaming “LOL HOW R U” over and over again.

(“Too Angry to Love: the Casey Leigh Story” coming to Lifetime this fall.)

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Unsolicited advice

I hate unsolicited advice. Like, I really hate unsolicited advice. I hate it more than I hate fruit, and you guys know I hate fruit a lot.

(I also hate when people write “alot” instead of “a lot.” Two words. Here is a helpful reminder.) 

Anyway, fruit. No, sorry, unsolicited advice. I think it’s because the people that generally give me unsolicited advice are the ones I’m least likely to ask for advice – par exemple: “Oh, okay, drug-addled 40-year-old woman with ten cats that poop all over your house, I think cooking meth would be a great way to make money!”

Also I’m stubborn and pretty damn arrogant, and I don’t like people suggesting they know more than I do unless I suggest it to them in the first place. It just comes off as bossy and meddling. I don’t like people to boss me around or meddle in my affairs unless I explicitly invite them to do so.

Obviously, however, I’m not alone. You hate unsolicited advice too, probably. This article on Psychology Today makes a lot of sense.  It says that “the advice, justifiably or not, comes across to us as one-upmanship, or assertion of dominance, or criticism, or distrust, or failure to consider our own unique goals and priorities.” YEAH. You tryin’ to one-up me, man? You tryin’ to fail at considerin’ my own unique goals and priorities? Seriously, though, that’s more succinct than what I’d written.

So you’re like “whatever, Casey, shut up and show me some art.” Okay, GOSH. Simmer down, cranky. You’re not considering my own unique goals and priorities again.

I got a Bamboo tablet the other day. I already had a tablet, but it was so old that I’m pretty sure it was compatible with Apple ][e, and had formed a suspiciously delicious flaky crust on it. I figure when your electronics acquire a crust, it’s not wasting money to throw them out. I haven’t drawn with a tablet in quite a while, so I’m still learning the ropes. In the meantime, I whipped up a delightfully accurate self-portrait:

That's not grape jelly on my shirt.

I don’t generally look this unabashedly happy, though.