In a Hole in the Ground, There Lived a Hobbit. . .

I bought a condo about a year and a half ago. It’s small – a little over 1,000 square feet – but big enough for me and my cat. It’s cozy. I call it the Hobbit Hole (which is also what I would call a porn shop if I ever opened one.) I love owning my own place. I’ve been able to paint and put my own touches on everything. It also means I have to fix everything, but thanks to YouTube, I’ve become quite the handy(wo)man.  I’ve fixed toilets, air conditioners, garbage disposals, remounted doors. . .a year ago I had no idea how to do any of this. I like it. It makes me feel capable.

(My apologies for the quality of these photos. I have the shakiest hands ever these days. My dreams of being a surgeon are dashed!)

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So that’s my living room and my bedroom. The spare bedroom (aka the craft room, aka the cat’s lair) is nothing special to look at. The kitchen is lovely but it happens to be absolutely drenched in flour and my tears at the moment, so no photos there.

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You remember the wall that I was doing, right? Well this is how far I got on it, but I think I’m going to start over. I’m really not happy with the color of the wall. You can’t really tell in the photo, but it’s this very pale, blue-leaning-toward-purple color. Almost lavender, really. I hate it. I think I’m going to paint over it with a light grey and then keep the design the darker grey that it is now.

I have an adorable little patio area, too, but right now it looks like The Secret Garden out there, like there’s going to be a hunchback hiding behind one of the three-foot tall weeds. Gardening is still one thing I have to master. Everything withers under my touch!

 

For My Fellow Non-Profit Employees

I have been employed at a local NPO for almost five years now, and I love it. It is immensely satisfying to spend my working hours actually helping people. Considering my generally blackened husk of a soul, I know this surprises some of you, but I have a soft spot for the disenfranchised. Unfortunately for me, this all means I get relatively low pay for my degree (but it’s an English degree, so maybe not, haha) and have to deal with a laughable amount of bureaucracy, but it is so, so worth it.

(Not to mention I have made some of my best friends here. For the first time in my life, I do not dread Monday mornings.)

Anyway, what brings this on is this Tumblr, which is hilarious and at times painfully truthful: Working at a Non-Profit.

Enjoy.

Aside

So I used to write constantly. This time, I’m not talking about blogging, I’m talking about straight-up pages and pages of fiction. Ever since I was little, write write write. Then college came, and the demands of my social and school life came before writing. And then, when I transfered schools, I decided to become a creative writing major. Nothing has ever sucked the will to write from me like actually being forced to write. So I changed my concentration to Technical Writing (which is still writing but not, you know, writing) and didn’t write anything fictional for quite some time.

That’s changed in the past few years, though. The writing bug has bitten me, an d I’ve been putting pen to paper a lot more lately. I mean that literally, too – there’s something I very much enjoy about the actual, physical process of writing words out on paper. It somehow feels more personal to me. I am so very rusty, though, and it embarrasses me. Such a silly sentiment, but true. I’m pushing on, however. It’ll come back to me.

And you know, the funny thing is that I don’t really write most of this stuff with the intention of anyone reading them ( save for Sammi and a few others.) It’s just a relaxing pastime – a little bit like playing pretend. But even though I don’t ever plan to do anything serious with my writing, I still want it to be good, you know? To that end, I’ve been reading a lot of essays about improving your writing and came upon this gem by Chuck Palahniuk. It’s long, but worth it.

Continue reading

“Girls Like it When”

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Man, okay so there’s this #girlslikeitwhen tag going around on Twitter and holy crap I’m pretty sure some of those people posting in it haven’t ever really seen a girl. One tweet suggested that girls like it when “you wake them up with a good morning text.” Now listen, I don’t know about you guys but if ANYONE wakes me up with a good morning text – guy, girl, cat, whatever – I will throw the phone across the room, attempt (resentfully) to gain back whatever amount of sleep I lost because you had to be all “lol good mrng how r u” (if you use “u” in a text message to me I will honest-to-god headbutt you straight up in the kidney), and when I wake? No matter what I had planned that day, I will cancel it. I will spend the day planning my revenge. And then, just as you rest your greasy little head on your pillow to sleep, I will march to your crappy little craphole apartment, burst in through a wall like the Kool-Aid man and jump up and down on your bed, screaming “LOL HOW R U” over and over again.

(“Too Angry to Love: the Casey Leigh Story” coming to Lifetime this fall.)

I’m Alive!

You know, about six or seven years ago, I used to blog constantly. I guess maybe that’s because I was a college student with nothing better to do than tell everyone about alll the Jaeger shots I totally downed at that party, like omg you guyyyys.

Now, my life is pretty boring. It’s me, my cat, my best friend and her husband, my other best friend, and my job. The job is fun. I don’t really want to write about the job though because you hear a lot of stories about people getting fired for that shit, and I really really love my job, so yeah. (Not that it’s terribly interesting anyway. I am a paper-wrangler for a non-profit. My boss throws paperclips in my hair. That’s about it.)

Not a lot of drama in my life either. I see a therapist every few weeks, and we talk about how carbs make me feel. I’m on two different anti-depressants, and I am somehow losing weight on them. Maybe it’s because I’m exercising a lot, lately. I don’t know. I do know that I’m feeling better than I have in several years.

(But my god, I have got to bid adieu to carbs. I could eat my weight in potato skins.)

(Now I want potato skins. Dammit, brain.)

There was actually going to be a point to this post, and I’ve forgotten what it was.

I’ve given up caffeine. I thought it would have more of an effect on me. But no, I’m still as flighty and high-strung as ever! Less headaches, though, and I sleep better at night. I also like the feeling of having conquered an addiction – even one as small as caffeine. Next step is to give up sodas completely – I’ve been sticking with the caffeine free ones, but aspartame is kind of starting to freak me out, the more I hear about it. If I’m going to get cancer, I want it to be because of my crappy genetics, not because I drink thirteen Sprite Zeros in a day.

(That was hyperbole.)

So something else has been going on that I’m really enjoying – and don’t you judge me – is that I’ve been playing D&D about once a month with some friends for the last year. Jan’s brother is the DM. I was really excited before we started because I was all “Yesss, nerds! My people!” and then it turned out that they were actually all way cooler than I was. I was looking forward to being one of the more socially adept people in a room for once, but nooo. These people are all really smart and funny and well-adjusted, and then there’s me, basically a lady version of Milton from Office Space. OH WELL. Anyway, it’s awesome. Jan’s brother is a great DM and the campaign has been hilarious and creative. It’s way more Monty Python than Lord of the Rings. I play a barbarian lady. A barbarian lady who is covered in dead squirrels. It’s pretty rad, not gonna lie.

Yeah, I still can’t remember what the point of this post was going to be. I’m sorry. I’m obviously feeling chatty today.

Wall Update

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Here is this week’s progress on the wall. I realized that parts of it were starting to look like Jacobean embroidery, so I decided to emphasize that (see the bottom left corner and the top right?) It doesn’t look like I did much, but I’m working slowly. At the top, if I stand up, I’m too tall to paint at that level comfortably, but if I kneel, I’m too short – so I end up doing this half-crouch/half-stand thing that is RIDICULOUSLY tough on my knees.

In other news, I’ve started a low carb diet and HOLY CRAP I AM READY TO KILL SOMEONE. It’s supposed to be one of the few things that works for women with PCOS though, so I’m trying to stick with it. I’d slap my mama for a cookie or a piece of bread though (no I wouldn’t, love you mama.) I’m shaky and irritable and oh my god did I say how much I’d like a cookie?

Drawing in the margins

I’m currently a little under a week through a month-long (or more?) sojourn from Facebook. I’m doing it in an attempt to regain the creativity I feel like I’ve lost in the past few years. That and I just need a break from people in general, lately. Everybody talks so fast, moves so fast, has so much drama. My chest tightens at the thought of it. I’m trying to break my addiction to social media. I like the attention, and I enjoy the ability to spout off short, funny updates – but they’re like drops of water in an ocean. They don’t mean much and they don’t require any thought for me, and I believe that bowing out of the Facebook scene for a while might give me free time and motivation back. We’ll see. It’s an interesting experiment, in any case.

I haven’t really done much, art-wise, in my Facebook-free week so far. I’ve written ten pages worth of story, which was completely unintended, but I’ll take it. I did draw this, though. Unfortunately it started as a doodle on a notebook divider – hence the gaping hole in mademoiselle here. I made myself a lightbox a long time ago for copying things like this (because this happens a lot more than you’d think – I am so disorganized), but the drawings always seem to lose something in translation. Since I didn’t see it becoming a bigger painting anyway, I just said ‘screw it,’ and painted right on the divider. Watercolor and colored pencils, per the usual. And that’s a pomegranate she’s holding, not a heart. I know it looks like a heart, but it’s actually a pomegranate. I guess it’s kinda-sorta supposed to be Persephone. I mean, like, you can just go ahead and think to yourself that it’s a heart if you want to because that’s what I thought when I finished it (I was drinking a little while I painted), because I guess I’d never know if you did think that, would I?

Also she has fingers, they just aren’t showing up very well. I really need a new scanner. So to recap: it’s not a heart and she does not have hideous penguin claws. Even though it looks like she possesses both. Look with your special eyes!

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