In a Hole in the Ground, There Lived a Hobbit. . .

I bought a condo about a year and a half ago. It’s small – a little over 1,000 square feet – but big enough for me and my cat. It’s cozy. I call it the Hobbit Hole (which is also what I would call a porn shop if I ever opened one.) I love owning my own place. I’ve been able to paint and put my own touches on everything. It also means I have to fix everything, but thanks to YouTube, I’ve become quite the handy(wo)man.  I’ve fixed toilets, air conditioners, garbage disposals, remounted doors. . .a year ago I had no idea how to do any of this. I like it. It makes me feel capable.

(My apologies for the quality of these photos. I have the shakiest hands ever these days. My dreams of being a surgeon are dashed!)

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So that’s my living room and my bedroom. The spare bedroom (aka the craft room, aka the cat’s lair) is nothing special to look at. The kitchen is lovely but it happens to be absolutely drenched in flour and my tears at the moment, so no photos there.

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You remember the wall that I was doing, right? Well this is how far I got on it, but I think I’m going to start over. I’m really not happy with the color of the wall. You can’t really tell in the photo, but it’s this very pale, blue-leaning-toward-purple color. Almost lavender, really. I hate it. I think I’m going to paint over it with a light grey and then keep the design the darker grey that it is now.

I have an adorable little patio area, too, but right now it looks like The Secret Garden out there, like there’s going to be a hunchback hiding behind one of the three-foot tall weeds. Gardening is still one thing I have to master. Everything withers under my touch!

 

For My Fellow Non-Profit Employees

I have been employed at a local NPO for almost five years now, and I love it. It is immensely satisfying to spend my working hours actually helping people. Considering my generally blackened husk of a soul, I know this surprises some of you, but I have a soft spot for the disenfranchised. Unfortunately for me, this all means I get relatively low pay for my degree (but it’s an English degree, so maybe not, haha) and have to deal with a laughable amount of bureaucracy, but it is so, so worth it.

(Not to mention I have made some of my best friends here. For the first time in my life, I do not dread Monday mornings.)

Anyway, what brings this on is this Tumblr, which is hilarious and at times painfully truthful: Working at a Non-Profit.

Enjoy.

I’m Alive!

You know, about six or seven years ago, I used to blog constantly. I guess maybe that’s because I was a college student with nothing better to do than tell everyone about alll the Jaeger shots I totally downed at that party, like omg you guyyyys.

Now, my life is pretty boring. It’s me, my cat, my best friend and her husband, my other best friend, and my job. The job is fun. I don’t really want to write about the job though because you hear a lot of stories about people getting fired for that shit, and I really really love my job, so yeah. (Not that it’s terribly interesting anyway. I am a paper-wrangler for a non-profit. My boss throws paperclips in my hair. That’s about it.)

Not a lot of drama in my life either. I see a therapist every few weeks, and we talk about how carbs make me feel. I’m on two different anti-depressants, and I am somehow losing weight on them. Maybe it’s because I’m exercising a lot, lately. I don’t know. I do know that I’m feeling better than I have in several years.

(But my god, I have got to bid adieu to carbs. I could eat my weight in potato skins.)

(Now I want potato skins. Dammit, brain.)

There was actually going to be a point to this post, and I’ve forgotten what it was.

I’ve given up caffeine. I thought it would have more of an effect on me. But no, I’m still as flighty and high-strung as ever! Less headaches, though, and I sleep better at night. I also like the feeling of having conquered an addiction – even one as small as caffeine. Next step is to give up sodas completely – I’ve been sticking with the caffeine free ones, but aspartame is kind of starting to freak me out, the more I hear about it. If I’m going to get cancer, I want it to be because of my crappy genetics, not because I drink thirteen Sprite Zeros in a day.

(That was hyperbole.)

So something else has been going on that I’m really enjoying – and don’t you judge me – is that I’ve been playing D&D about once a month with some friends for the last year. Jan’s brother is the DM. I was really excited before we started because I was all “Yesss, nerds! My people!” and then it turned out that they were actually all way cooler than I was. I was looking forward to being one of the more socially adept people in a room for once, but nooo. These people are all really smart and funny and well-adjusted, and then there’s me, basically a lady version of Milton from Office Space. OH WELL. Anyway, it’s awesome. Jan’s brother is a great DM and the campaign has been hilarious and creative. It’s way more Monty Python than Lord of the Rings. I play a barbarian lady. A barbarian lady who is covered in dead squirrels. It’s pretty rad, not gonna lie.

Yeah, I still can’t remember what the point of this post was going to be. I’m sorry. I’m obviously feeling chatty today.

Why I am Never Firing Netflix Up in the Presence of Friends Ever Again: a Play by Casey Leigh

Netflix: Because you watched “Revenge of the Bridesmaids”:

Me: Oh no. No. I thought it was the other Bridesmaids movie and by the time I realized it wasn’t, it was too late.

Netflix: We are going to shame you by suggesting the worst we have to offer – And we’re Netflix, so that well runs pretty damn deep. How about “White Chicks?” That seems like your kind of movie, you cheeky little troglodyte, you!

Me: Oh God, Netflix, don’t do this to me, I’ve got friends over, people I want to respect me —

Netflix: Haha, that’s nice. Oh look, Ace Ventura is a suggested movie, too. You DO love Jim Carrey, don’t you?

Me: I do not love Jim Carrey.

Netflix: That’s strange. According to our predictive algorithms you totally love Jim Carrey, especially back in the 90s when he was all about poop and making stupid faces. And Louie Anderson. Like, you LOVE Louie Anderson. You think he’s an artist.

Me: I DO NOT LOVE LOUIE ANDERSON.

Netflix: Do too. You want to marry him.

Me: Look, I’ve got good movies in my queue. Donnie Darko, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind–

Netflix: Yes, wedged right in between Toddlers and Tiaras and Sorority Sleepover Chainsaw Nightmare Part V.

Me: I DID NOT PUT THOSE IN THERE, YOU– WHAT SORT OF SKYNET BULLSHIT IS THIS?

Netflix: “Oh and lets look up some Nicholas Cage movies for you and your friends. Some of the real classy ones he’s been doing lately. What’s the name of the one where he gets attacked by bees? Why it’s The Wicker Man, and look at that, it’s already in your ‘recently watched’ pile! My goodness, I am good at this.”

Me: “. . .I hate Netflix. And myself.”