Man, okay so there’s this #girlslikeitwhen tag going around on Twitter and holy crap I’m pretty sure some of those people posting in it haven’t ever really seen a girl. One tweet suggested that girls like it when “you wake them up with a good morning text.” Now listen, I don’t know about you guys but if ANYONE wakes me up with a good morning text – guy, girl, cat, whatever – I will throw the phone across the room, attempt (resentfully) to gain back whatever amount of sleep I lost because you had to be all “lol good mrng how r u” (if you use “u” in a text message to me I will honest-to-god headbutt you straight up in the kidney), and when I wake? No matter what I had planned that day, I will cancel it. I will spend the day planning my revenge. And then, just as you rest your greasy little head on your pillow to sleep, I will march to your crappy little craphole apartment, burst in through a wall like the Kool-Aid man and jump up and down on your bed, screaming “LOL HOW R U” over and over again.
(“Too Angry to Love: the Casey Leigh Story” coming to Lifetime this fall.)